I have been MIA from the blog and other areas of my life lately. As typical for me, I have to really think where have I been.
I think maybe I have not been present as much as other parts of me who have other interests and have been using most of our time. Sometimes I barely realize when this is happening.
I have had moments where I have thought I need to write a blog entry, but then I vanish before I am able to do that task. Since I am not as present lately, it leaves me kind of scattered to write a new post (like this one probably is).
I have also been solo parenting for the past two weeks and it has been unusually difficult. School was out because of winter weather, my kids have both been sick at different times,, and I have been dealing with some difficult and new material in therapy.
I made it to the finish line as my spouse is now back, thank God. I only almost had two nervous breakdowns as we were into the second week.
Parenting is not usually this difficult for me, so I was frustrated to feel this way while the spouse was gone. Oh well, the kids are alive, fed, and made it to school when they weren’t sick.
The spouse was only mildly irritated with me for the chaos in the house because of the way I do things when I am in charge.
I had a therapy session a couple of days ago that was unusual in that I kept Rolodex switching throughout the appointment. By the end, I was frustrated because the time evaporated quickly, and it felt like a very chaotic and unproductive session. I kept “waking up” during the session and said to myself inside “why am I talking about this topic?” It wasn’t until later that I realized that was happening because I kept switching between parts.
I suppose this was the rebound of doing the very difficult session prior to that.
Sometimes we need a break, and just can’t be all things to everyone. Hopefully, the distraction of other parts doing their things will enable us to eventually get grounded again and feel more present and less scattered.
Thank you to those who checked in on me. I am doing ok, and working on getting back to my normal.
I hope to have something more interesting to write about next time!